°C-ute's 5th album "Shocking 5"

°C-ute's fifth album Shocking 5 was released yesterday, February 25, 2010.

My first thoughts: it's a bland, mushy, boring, pitiful excuse for an album. Shocking 5? More like Sucking 5.

1. EVERYDAY Zekkouchou!! (EVERYDAY 絶好調!!)

Why did the album title Shocking 5 not start with the song "SHOCK!"? Instead it gets off to a boring start with this single, which isn't my favorite one from the group by far. Even though it's Erika's final single she doesn't get even one solo line! It's just a mess of the sappy "SEISHUN!!!!"-ful diarrhea Tsunku has been excreting on us lately.

2. The Party!

Worst. Party. Ever. That exclamation point in the title: completely unwarranted. This is like the very first part of the party where a small handful of people have taken the start time literally and it's just them and hosts. Every one is getting a little antsy and thinking of maybe going somewhere else. And then some more people show up and everyone gets trashed. Except in this song, that last part never happens. The guests do go home and we're left with a lone crooning Airi.

3. Aa Koi (嗚呼 恋) / Suzuki Airi

This kind of sound's like the inside of one of Bowser's castles. It's an alright track, I suppose. Certainly one of the best one's on this album at least. I don't think it's as strong as Airi's previous album tracks though.

4. Bye Bye Bye!

Compared to the rest of this album I almost like "Bye Bye Bye!" Wait... nope, I still hate it. It probably doesn't help that it's sandwiched between the best two tracks on the album. Maimi's little climax is still the best part of the song.

5. Lonely girl's night / Yajima Maimi

Well, I wasn't expecting anything that would rival "Natsu DOKI Lipstick," but I was hoping for something a little upbeat. The track is still is pretty good, it just could be stronger. Still, Maimi could probably make anything sound like solid gold.

6. Kimi no Senpou (君の戦法) / Nakajima Saki, Okai Chisato, Hagiwara Mai

Oh, I have a great idea! Let's put all the weakest vocalists on a track together, and while we're at it we'll just give them a boring backing track with minimal chorus behind them! Seriously, this is a real trash pile of a song.

7. SHOCK!

Maybe I'm in the minority here, but I like "SHOCK!" Of course I hate the line distribution, but that doesn't stop it from being a fun track.

8. Shigatsu Sengen (四月宣言)

You know, who ever they hired to do the guitar on this album was really trying his/her hardest to make the songs good. Everything else on this track: AWFUL. Even the PV they made for it is boring.

9. "Zansho Omimai Moushiagemasu." (「残暑 お見舞い 申し上げます。」) / Suzuki Airi

So Airi basically gets three solo songs. I do not approve. This song is okay, but I would have left it a B-side. I guess Tsunku wanted something of his own work from their summer single on the album since he had no hand in what made "Shochuu Omomai Moushiagemasu" awesome.

10. Yume ga Aru Kara (夢があるから)

Aw, and now we get to the heart-warming group ballad song at the end of the album. Except that's what the rest of the album has been. Of course the song is sweet and pretty, just like the countless sound-alikes that came before it. And this time we only get five girls, three of whom are weak singers, to provide that full vocal sound.

11. Shochuu Omimai Moushiagemasu (H22 Remix) (暑中お見舞い申し上げます (H22 Remix))

How did they manage the make the best thing °C-ute released in the last year into something just as balls-rific as the rest of this album? Do people actually like remixes, ever? The only one's I've ever cared for are "Koibito wa Kokoro no Ouendan (Hyper Dance Version)," "Ai~n! Dance no Uta (MORE TRANCE REMIX)," and "Dschinghis Khan Tartar Mix." This one sounds like °C-ute stuck in a Dance Dance Revolution Mario Mix nightmare.


Final verdict: DO NOT WANT. Also, I miss Kanna and Erika :'(