Daburuyuu Joshi Koutou Gakkou: Orientation

Welcome to Daburuyuu Joshi Koutou Gakkou! As you surely already know we are Japan's #1 all girls school. Now that you are about to join our illustrious student body you'll need to go through student orientation.

Daburuyuu Joshi Koutou Gakkou: Orientation

Hello! Project 2010 WINTER Kachou Fuugetsu ~Shuffle Date~

I watched the Shuffle Date concert a few nights ago. It was Glorious

1. Uwaki na Honey Pie / All

It seems that from the solo line distribution the “leaders” of the shuffle groups are as such:

High-King: Reina + Ai-chan
Zoku v-u-den: Risako
Shin Minimoni: Linlin
Aa!: Miyabi
ZYX-alpha: Risa
Petitmoni V: Mano Erina
Tanpopo#: Eri

They all make sense except Zoku v-u-den. Why did Risako get the solo and not Sayumi?

As for the song, “Uwaki na Honey Pie” has always been a favorite of mine. I love the knee-knocking choreography :D

The bright-colored plastic + zebra-print faux fur things are… bizarre.

2. VTR

Nothing too impressive. Every one looks cute of course!

3. MC

I’d much rather have one of the girls MCing than Makoto. His stupid bowl cut just gets more and more irritating.

4. Pen Pen Kyoudai / Shin Minimoni

Oh god. Minimoni is, was, and will always be the best unit ever. The outfits are ridiculously adorable. Plaid! Purses! Tiny capes! Leg warmers! MITTENS! And all of the girls are singing fabulously, especially considering all that jumping. This is one of the best revival unit songs, which is saying a lot since they’re all pretty good.

5. Mini. Strawberry~ Pie / Shin Minimoni

Girls, I would eat a mini strawberry pie from you all any day. This is the perfect unit.

6. GOING ON / Guardians 4

Meh. Boring song. Why did they use so much yellow lighting for this one? Everything just looks kind of jaundiced. Eww. And why can’t we ever get Aika bangs anymore?

7. MC

Oh, it’s 6th gen Morning Musume. What’s up ladies? Eri’s side braid is uggggly. Now they are showing off their ‘r’-rolling skills.

Now, I couldn’t follow this conversation entirely, but it seems that Junjun thinks Captain’s dancing is really cool and that she’s cute. Then she made a full on confession (kokuhaku), complete with a present, that she loved Captain (daisuki!). Looks like Junjun is also getting intimate with another High-King member:



When Junjun confesses again in front of everyone the ladies are SCANDALIZED! Ai-chan is in fits of laughter over this scene:



Risa is outraged and scolds Junjun:



Captain thanks her sweetly though and they move on.

Then there’s some story about Chinami and Ogawa Saki. I cannot follow it. Ai-chan is apparently amused by this one as well though:



Also, did you notice how outrageously large Tanabe Nanami (the newest Egg)’s pigtails are? Each one is literally bigger than her head. Damn. (I've tinkered with the brightness and contrast around her head because it's difficult to see black pigtails against a black background)



8. FIRST KISS / Aa!

I like this song, but I miss Reina’s voice in it :/ She had such a distinct (a.k.a. kind of weird) way of pronouncing her ‘k’s that I loved in her early H!P years. Also, I can’t wait for Miyabi to be rid of those awful extensions

9. Yume no Genjitsu / Aa!

A really fabulous song with outstanding choreography. What more could we ask for? Well, I would ask for better styling. I don’t like anything about those outfits (except maybe the boots) and they all have awful hair. Still, what a rockin’ live song. I hope this one becomes a standard!

10. Pira! Otome no Negai / Petitmoni V

Okay, so this song benefits a lot from some visuals. And those are some spot-on Petitmoni outfits. The choreography is good, too. I love Maimai shaking her nothing of a chest during the bridge

11. Chokotto LOVE / Petitmoni V

Aww, this is a delightfully goofy song, isn’t it? They did really well with it. And the Eggs just added just enough insanity.

12. MC

I think this is a ranking of whom you would most want to kiss? Those are NOT the top three girls I’d want to kiss! For me that would be Ai-chan, Linlin, and Maimi. Mostly Ai-chan though.

Apparently Maasa has voluminous, erotic lips? Oh my!

I have no idea what the Ai-chan/Risako/Linlin thing was, but Linlin has the cutest Chinese accent ^__^

13. Oujisama to Yuki no Yoru / Tanpopo#

Oh, now I see why they are dressed like foppish little princelings. It’s because they are singing “Oujisama to Yuki no Yoru!” Makes a lot of sense now. And holy hairbow does Aika look perfect in hers. Seriously how can her body look like that? It’s unreal. The girls all sound really great. Tsunku put together a top-notch Tanpopo#. But it’s kind of sad to hear and see this song with no Aibon, no Charmy, no Marippe, and no Kaorin :(

14. Umbrella / Tanpopo#

Another great revival unit song. Major props to the arranger and the choreographer. The dance is reminiscent of “Otome Pasta ni Kandou.” And going back to the outfits, why with even as low of heels as the other girls got did Aika get completely flat boots? She always has flat boots. Is it a foot problem?



15. Bravo☆Bravo / Buono!

Sweet boots. Momo looks wonderful (as usual). Miyabi’s shorts are très adorable. I really couldn’t care less about the song though. The best part about it is the inexplicable “P-A-T-I.” WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO SPELL? Is it an acronym for “Please Apply Tapeworms Indiscriminately?” Or maybe "Punch that Asshole Tsunku In the face?"

16. Renai♥Rider / Buono!

Now this is a great Buono! song. They sound a little tired though.

17. BE ALL RIGHT / Risa, Mai, Linlin, Mano Erina, Chinami, Junjun, Chisato, Maeda Yuuka, Ogawa Saki, Fukuda Kanon, Saho Akari, Wasa Ayaka, Takeuchi Akari

Never one of my favorite shuffle songs, and I would have preferred to see Linlin, Junjun, and Risa in smaller groups. And why is this the only mix group to not get a special outfit?

18. MC

There sure is a lot of Junjun and Linlin love in the MCs! I think Linlin said something about revolving cheese. Weird. Also, I just noticed something again that I had noticed in some of the pics from this concert. Linlin’s bag is red, white, blue, and star-spangled. The reason Mika had Americana accessories is that she was actually from America. Shouldn’t Linlin’s Minimoni accessories be red and gold with stars?



19. Suki Sugite Baka Mitai / Sayumi, Reina, Maimi, Maasa

Please stop trying to substitute Sayumi for Rika. Rika could actually sing pretty well and was about a trillion times cuter than Sayumi. On a happier note, Reina really sings well and Maimi is a major hotty even though she’s not in the least bit curvaceous. It must just be her awesome stage presence.

20. LOVE LIKE CRAZY / Eri, Saki, Ai-chan

Love the song. Love the girls. Love the outfits. Love the dance. I’m in raptures watching this performance. Yep, definitely rewatching this as soon it’s over. Can someone explain why Captain’s talents are being absolutely wasted in the background of Berryz Koubou and why she has no photobook?

21. Shiroi TOKYO / ZYX-alpha

Now this was great styling all around. Although the asymmetry of their arm apparel makes it look they got lightly mauled by wild animals on their way to the stage. See what I mean?



Saki’s fuchsia five of hearts is probably my favorite accessory:



22. Iku ZYX! Fly High / ZYX-alpha

How did I never notice before that they spell out ZYX with their bodies at the intro to this song? That is one of the neatest bits of choreography I’ve seen in Hello! Project! Maasa for some reason sticks out as looking super gorgeous in this performance. This unit in its 6nin form is really outstanding. Why didn’t they get a new song?



23. MC

Oooh, a ZYX MC. I bet Maasa is VERY warm in that get up. If I was here I would sit around naked back stage for a while.

24. ONLY YOU / Zoku v-u-den

Damn Risako. You really have some pipes. And that outfit certainly emphasizes your *ahem* Western figure. Junjun looks really nice in the get up as well.

25. Koisuru♡Angel♡Heart / Zoku v-u-den

All the bending over is wasted on those outfits. WHERE’S THE CLEAVAGE? Is this v-u-den or not? And why don’t Junjun and Risako get garters? Those stockings aren’t staying up!

26. DESTINY LOVE / High-King

I wish they did more wide shots for this song. I want to see the dance! Specifically I want to see Saki dancing. And Maimi. And Ai-chan. With Yuuka and Reina I’m kind of take-em-or-leave-em.

Side note: I think I hear women shouting in the audience! Woo hoo.

27. DIAMONDS / High-King

Thank goodness for Saki shorts, but why do Ai-chan and Maimi both get long pants? Surely it’s a sin to cover up legs like those! I do love this song though.

28. C/C Cinderella/Complex / High-King

Yes yes yo, indeed. We’d all be better off with more of this song in our lives I think. This unit is the closest thing to perfection Hello! Project has seen since Morning Musume Sakuragumi.

29. MC

Those corduroy shorts and white T-shirts look even better in motion than they did in photos. Double thumbs up for Linlin, Risako, Aika, and Eri.

30. Renai Revolution 21 / All

I love how during this song they all sort of subtly shifted from being grouped in their shuffle units to being grouped into their usual units.

31. Ending

Awwww, good bye ladies! That was a really superb concert. Probably my favorite since Berry Kamen vs. Cutie Ranger! Maybe one day I’ll be able to go to Japan and see you all live!

Hello! Café Tea Break

Welcome back to Hello! Café! Have you come for a tea break?

Guardians 4's 4th single "Going On!"

The PV for "Going On!" has been released on Dohhh UP! This single will be released on January 20 and the single V will be released on February 3.



Link to video on Dohhh UP!


It seems Guardians 4 is going a bit stale. I do not rate this release well. Hopefully the accompanying Shugo Chara Egg! song will be better. I'm excited to hear the new Amulet Diamond Tatabe Nanabi at least!

The song

Well, the girls voices are nice. Nakky seems to have really improved recently. Otherwise it's just super boring. And that "heart unlock" part is irritating.

The PV

This is a bizarre concept. Why is there a lion directing, a green elephant working the camera, and a purple thing doing... whatever it's doing? I like it that kooky aspect of it, but sadly it is poorly edited. The shots are much too long, which makes the whole thing sort of stagnate. There's far too much lens flare and arbitrary anime clips. I did enjoy the phallic vegetable scenes, especially Nakky's reluctance to take the leeks. Why did Yurina end up with a non-phallic fruit though? Well, when Scarface was edited for TV they replaced the word "pussy" with "pineapple." Coincidence? (...probably :P)

The outfits

I'll tell you what, I love these Guardians 4 outfits on Aika. Her bod is totally rockin' and these really show it off. Sadly the stylists always make her hair look awful. I just don't understand how all the others can look so perfectly coiffed while Aika looks like her straightening iron is tragically broken.

Overall, I'm not pleased. The PV concept was right up my alley, but poorly executed. The song couldn't be more forgettable. Well, better luck next time, ladies!

Kako to Mirai: 2009 retrospective and 2010

Oh hello, world. Well, this has been one hell of a year. I for one have been a total stress mess! I had a very rough summer, lost about 40 lbs. (~20 kg), struggled through a difficult and economically lean semester, and graduated university. Through it all I kept up with Hello! Project, but not this blog, clearly.

I thought an end-of-year post with rankings, reviews and resolutions would be a nice way to get back into things. First up, my perennial favorite.

Morning Musume


A year ago Berryz Koubou had temporarily become my main squeeze, but Morning Musume is back on top as my favorite group. This is mostly like due to my new-found love for Linlin! Her "HI, I'M LINLIN!" at the Anime Expa Q&A this summer absolutely melted my heart.

As for releases this year, Naichou Kamo was not a strong kick-off. The A-side is pretty forgettable, the PV is the worst yet, and the B-side has waaa~y to much Sayumi.

On the other hand, I couldn't have asked for much more with Platinum 9 DISC. Morning Musume's best album in years! Their next single was also a stand-out, though "3,2,1 BREAKIN' OUT" outshines "Shouganai Yume Oibito." It was great to see a Morning Musume single reach number 1 again, too.

The Platinum 9 DISCO concert DVD had performance that just blows all the others away: Linlin's solo in "Aozora ga Itsumademo Tsuzuku You na Mirai de Are!" That little girl's got a huge voice. Love her!

With all the promotion for Nanchatte Renai it was bound to do well, and it really really did. It was the best-selling single for the group in four years, and the second-best-selling one in the last five years. The A-side and PV really are standouts, maybe even the best of the 9-nin line-up. Biggest disappointment was too little Linlin in the PV!

The B-side collection wasn't something I was too interested in. The girls looked great in the booklet though! And it was nice to Kago on a cover of a Hello! Project release again :D.

I loved Kimagure Princess, but it didn't fair well being their second-worst selling single ever! The song is super cute, but the promotion was nonexistent and the PV was absolutely nothing special. I would have liked to see more Koharu in this, as it was her last single!

Speaking of Koharu, I'm really sad to see her go. I was on the anti-Koha boat in the beginning, but she really grew on me. What presence! What charisma! What energy! She was a like a Mari 2.0 for me, and she would do well to follow in Yaguchi's footsteps I think.

My first hope for the coming year is to see/hear more Linlin in singles! My second hope is for an audition! With Koharu gone it's time to find ninth gen! I'd like to see a really smart girl already graduated from high school. Tsunku can even put her in glasses since he seems to have a bit of a fetish for megadols.

Berryz Koubou


At the beginning of the year I was obsessed with Berryz, but their recent singles have left them with less luster in my eyes.

They kicked off the year pretty well. Their best-of album sold pretty well and "Otoko no Ko" was a bitchin' track. I couldn't have loved Dakishimete Dakishimete more, and I went on at length about it on this blog.

The double A-side singles are fine, I suppose. They tracks are really nice and the PVs are more okay, but there's something about the girls' image now that seems a little dull and empty. They always look too made-up or something. I can't put my finger on it exactly, but hopefully once they finish acting like an anime unit they'll bounce back.

My hope for next year: an album! 5 (FIVE) was really outstanding, and I want something just as good for this next year.

°C-ute


°C-ute has never been my favorite group, and they haven't grown on me any more this year. ④ Akogare My STAR was pretty good, BYE BYE BYE was terrible, Shochuu Omimai Moushiagemasu was cute and had a great PV, EVERYDAY Zekkouchou!! was fairly forgettable, and the best-of album was a huge disappointment with no new tracks! I suppose my favorite release of the year was Shochuu Omimai Moushiagemasu. It parallels my favorite °C-ute release of 2008, Edo no Temari Uta II in that it was a summertime cover song. I'm not sure what Tsunku's doing with SHOCK!'s Airi saturation. Maybe he's hoping for another Furusato→LOVE Machine situation.

Mano Erina

Manoeri's debut single held so much promise! I had a lot of hope for her career after hearing "Otome no Inori" and seeing its PV. Sadly everything sort of went downhill from there for me. The only other single she has released that I even remotely like is Kono Mune no Tokimeki wo, and if that I don't love. Her album was a bit of a snooze too. Really an all around disappointing year from her!

S/mileage

I'm excited about their immanent debut! The girls have such a fresh, sweet image and strong vocals. I think "aMa no jaku" is a super boring track, but "Suki-chan" is super cute with a great PV and "Asu wa Date na no ni, Ima Sugu Koe ga Kikitai" is one of my favorite releases of the year.

Year's Best/Worst

Best albums
Platinum 9 DISC, Champloo 1 ~Happy Marriage Song Cover Shuu~

Worst albums
FRIENDS

Best singles
Berryz Koubou: Dakishimete Dakishimete
Buono!: MY BOY
°C-ute: Shochuu Omimai Moushiagemasu
Guardians 4: Omakase♪Guardian
Mano Erina: Otome no Inori
Morning Musume: Nanchatte Renai
S/mileage: Asu wa Date na no ni, Ima Sugu Koe ga Kikitai

Worst singles
Berryz Koubou: Seishun Bus Guide/Rival
Buono!: Take It Easy!
°C-ute: Bye! Bye! Bye!
Guardians 4: PARTY TIME
Mano Erina: Love&Peace=Paradise
Morning Musume: Naichau Kamo
S/mileage: aMa no Jaku

Best shuffle units
High-King, Shin Minimoni

Worst shuffle units
Petitmoni V

The year ahead

Well, I'm looking forward to this next year. I hope all the groups do well and have great releases. As for myself, Here are a couple of things I have in the works for the blog this year:

• A collection of Morning Musume essays: Theseus' SHIP! TO THE FUTURE, Swan Songs, and Asahi Musume
• Berries for Berryz
• An exploration of shuffle units and subgroups

Return of the beast

Hello all,

I realize I took a surprise unexplained hiatus, but since I don't want to come off as emo and whiny I'll not explain and just say, "sorry!"

I've missed several releases in the last couple of months, so here are some mini reviewlettes for you all to enjoy. Later today or tomorrow there will be full reviews for Mano Erina and °C-ute's new singles, which have summer themes: my favorite!

MY BOY - Buono!
Wow, Buono!, What a great track! The guitars are really hot, and their voices sound so rich and mature. I love Momo's "it's so nice" line. What an understatement, darling! That girl sounds better and better with every release she's on. I love the cake thief thing in the PV, too. It's such a huge step up from "Lotta Love Lotta Love." I can't say that I love the "Warp!" but none of Buono's b-sides have been anything special, except possibly "Lady Panther." Gao, indeed.

Sadistic Dance - HANGRY&ANGRY
It's good to hear from the duo again! This is in the exact same style as their mini-album, which is fine. I like the goth-pop. You don't get a lot of that in Hello! Project. Rika and Yossie sound really nice. The cover is really ugly though. What is up with Rika's hat?

Shouganai Yume Oibito - Morning Musume
The newest Morning Musume single is great! What a pretty melody and such nice backing vocals. Everyone sounds nice on the track except Ai and 8th gen, who sound ridiculously good, and Sayumi, who sounds like herself. I can't say I love the dance in the PV, but everyone sure looks gorgeous.

The real star on this release though is the b-side. Oh my god, Ai-chan, could you for one minute stop being pure anthropomorphized HOTNESS? I've been listening to it every time I go for a run, and I just grin like an idiot through all 4.5 minutes of it.

Omakase♪Guardian - Guardians 4
Only three words can adequately describe this song: "holy shit Aika!" I think it's a little weird that she's in another four-member special anime unit with Nakajima Saki, but I'm fine with whatever gives me more Aika, especially with her adorably shouting "bui~!" The song itself is totally precious, even more than the Shugo Chara Egg! version of it! It takes a lot of skill to be cuter than something with Fukuda Kanon. On the other hand, the PV and the b-side are completely "meh."

Mecha Mote I LOVE YOU - MM Gakuen
Without at doubt the best thing to come out of TNX ever. I've been listening to both the a-side and the b-side almost non-stop for about a week now. The songs are great for everything: washing dishes, riding bikes, lifting weights, playing video games, dancing, riding the bus, grooming/primping, and everything else I've been doing this summer. Not the best for listening to while writing a review because I can't concentrate on writing due to how stupidly good the tracks are.

Seishun Bus Guide/Rival - Berryz Koubou
In case you haven't noticed, I love Berryz Koubou. They are hands down the best overall in vocals in all of Hello! Project (unless you consider High-King to be an active group), and arguably the best overall in asthetic appeal.

On that note, I don't love this single. It's through no fault of the girls (excluding Risako maybe, because she sounds a little strained on both tracks), it's just bad song-writing/arranging. "Rival" is moderately adorable and definitely ends up as my number one song on the release, but "Seishun Bus Guide" is almost entirely forgettable. The PVs follow similarly.

Still, it's not a bad release, just not the best Berryz release. And obviously people like it because it's number 3 for Berryz as far as first week sales! Berryz, please come to the U.S., preferably my part of the country!

aMa no Jaku - S/mileage
This song is boring as hell. I'm glad the girls have something over than just b-sides on another group's release to keep them occupied though. 'A' for effort, maybe?

So yeah, I'm sorry I hibernated through the spring. Lots of exciting stuff coming up this summer though, so hopefully you'll be hearing a lot from me!