This week saw the release of Matsuura Aya's sixth album, Omoi Afurete. In related news, here is a transcript from a recent meeting of UFA big wigs.*Big Cheese: I had a great idea just now. Let's drop an Aya album out of nowhere with next to no promotion.
Yes Man: That's a great idea, sir!
BC: I know, right? But I feel like we haven't found quite the right sound for her. Any ideas?
Tsunku: She sounded really great on "Rappa to Musume," the track she did with Hino Terumasa. It really showed off her unique and variable voice in a more mature way than her "Ayaya" songs.
BC: Shut it, you. When was the last time you produced anything good around here?
Tsunku: Did you hear 5(FIVE)?
Rabid Intern: I think we should go really bland. And tell the backing band to not vary the style of the instrumentals at all.
BC: THAT'S EXACTLY IT!
YM: Sir, I think that's a great decision.
BC: Shut up.
YM: Yes, sir.
BC: Okay, let's find the woman who wrote "Kizuna" and ask her who she thinks writes boring songs, and then we'll hire that guy to write all the tracks. That ought to be the epitome of bland.
RI: And let's put in one song that's would actually be kind of good if it wasn't so repetitive. Maybe we'll call it "boom boom boom."
BC: Sounds good. We'll have to make sure Aya doesn't do any of that interesting variation in her voice. And just to throw Tsunku a bone we'll make some of the tracks sound like some kind of stale stereotype of old person "jazz."
Tsunku: ;__;
BC: Let's get to work! We only have a few weeks to throw this together. Maybe we can manage to have it sell even less than her last one since we are putting absolutely no effort into it!
*As a disclaimer, this isn't real. But seriously, I hope Aya can get some better material once she has graduated. Other than "Rappa to Musume," Naked Songs was the last good thing we heard from her.
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